So you've found my LJ! What up.

first_seventhe is not a Friends-Only journal; however, it is a Somewhat-Friends-Locked journal. I don't have any kind of "friending policy" - if you're here, you're free to comment on anything. If you can see an entry, it's free game. Here's how it usually breaks down:

• Unlocked - Fandom stuff; open entries about writing, art, photography, etc; general bitching; healthblogging and workout stuff in general; memes and photomemes


• Locked - More personal entries; healthblogging / workout stuff with specifics about me; anything that mentions other people not represented on LJ; entries about work or grad school; anything posted during the day (from work) with naughty language in it


• Filtered and locked - Personal entries with life details. I do have a set of filters based on how well I know someone. Don't be offended if you're not on one. Get to know me better.

I'm a friendly person. I like to communicate with people. On this particular LJ I come across like a hobo on speed, but underneath it all I'd like to think I'm keeping a fair bit of intelligence and life experience. More about me can be found here.

Yes, I am in fandom. Yes, I write fanfiction. I'm old enough that I don't really feel like I have to hide that fact, or even justify it in any way. I'm not exactly trying to sit at the "cool table" any more (as a professional chemical engineer and a part-time graduate student in polymer science, I think they've already revoked my "cool table" license anyway). If the fandom parts (or the crack that comes with fandom) bother you in some way, feel free to ignore, or de-friend, or leave me a comment to take you off of X or Y filter. However, if you're here from fandom, feel free to comment on non-fandom-related stuff if you want! Like I said: if you can see it, it's fair game.

I do love random friendings and random stalkers. If you friend me, I'll probably friend you back. If we end up not interacting much, I always reserve the right to take you off certain lists -- my F-List is mainly for my own reading purposes and shouldn't be used to gauge how much I like someone. I like lots of people! Everywhere! Except when I don't, because people suck.

If you're here because you've Googled my real name and followed the internet trail through my website to this journal, leave me a goddamn comment (on this entry) and let me know. Stalkers freak me out.

I have been really boring lately! But I have been really busy with school: finals, final projects, homeworks, studying. Today I have two final exams. One at 4:00 and another at 6:30.

D:

HOWEVER AS SOON AS THESE EXAMS ARE DONE I AM FINISHED WITH THIS SEMESTER. FINISHED I SAY.

And that's 5 graduate credits in my pocket (barring a massive fail).

Then I can go back to being really boring but having no excuse for it! YAY.

This is the same video that's up on Facebook (if you're my Facebook friend) but for those of you who are not, I bring you: Kitten Pong.



Or watch here.

Porter (the dark, fluffy one) and Maerzen (aka Marzy) (the tan one) help hilldo and I play some Ping Pong.

Enjoy ♥

Reply to this post with the degree you'd award me based on my participation in fandom.

For example:

"Dr. Sev has been awarded a Ph.D in AU Crack, with a concentration in blowjobs."

or

"Sev carries dual Masters degrees in Twincest and Pirating."

Go ahead, and then post in your journal so that I can award you a degree.





This is entirely Nay's fault.

Has anyone actually beaten FFIV: The After Years yet? (Or whatever's out at this point?) Any idea how long it should take to beat?

1) I have found the grey corduroys I've been missing for about six months now. They'd gotten mixed in with my jeans. Which is a shame, because I love these pants. I am a big fan of corduroys for some lame reason; I don't know, but I love them. On guys, on girls, on me.

2) I really want to chop off my hair. But I'm torn because it's so long and I don't know if I'll ever have the patience to grow it this long again. But it doesn't look great long unless I put *work* into it; short hair might be easier. (Or uglier! I DON'T KNOW.)

3) I feel an almost undeniable urge to go out and buy boots.

So I have about 25,000 words to write in December if I want to make my 200K goal for getyourwordsout. I do love that instead of frantically writing I am going to write a post on not writing instead: I am a professional, guys, fear me.

Anyway: 25K words in a month isn't bad – I did it in July and August of this year for FFEX – but it isn't great, either, for a month full of finals and holidays. It's… half of NaNoWriMo. I shall call it nanoNaNo. (demiNaNo might be more appropriate, but oh well.)

So while I waste hours today in a very long meeting, let's see what the internets think because I am already bored.

Poll #1492869 nanoNaNo
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

What's the best way to handle this?

Ongoing projects: choose some

What can I write for you to help get my word count up?

Am I screwed?

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah

I'm going through all my old photography and darkroom equipment, and I found some old portfolios. Man, I really am/was good at photography. It's kind of depressing that I haven't had a darkroom up in probably 3 years and I haven't taken 'serious' pictures in a really long while. I miss film; I took it more seriously.

I miss having time.

Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope you all have pie* as awesome as mine.


*thankfully not failpie

If you need time to mull something over, take it. It's definitely your turn. After all, you'll absolutely need some time alone now. Of course, you may have to fight for it. In other words, rearrange your schedule, cancel some plans you've had for a while, or put a certain social engagement on hold. It's not pleasant, of course, but you'll just have to do what you have to do to preserve your sanity.

why are horoscopes so true sometimes.

HEY GUYS

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY OHAYOCON 2009 PHOTOS???

EMO BALTHIER AND THE ORANGE? ME MAKING OUT WITH KATY? CANADIAN IN A CORSET? BECKY WITH THE DOUCHEBAG RIFLE??

SERIOUSLY SOMEONE HELP ME

So today a professor of mine arbitrarily extended his class for two hours, right into my work day. This is the same professor who arbitrarily moved his class to Friday afternoon even when I told him I was unavailable and then didn't confirm the time until 10pm the night before the class, which meant I could either 1) miss class entirely or 2) bust ass to come up with an alternative.

I've emailed him reminding him (like I TOLD HIM at the beginning of class; oh, I've learned: if you don't tell them they assume you're all full time students) that I have a job I am already skipping out on to attend his class at normal time and that I don't have vacation to spare on his bullshit.

It ended, "Please advise."

I am so sick of this. If they don't want part-timers - if they really aren't going to give them any basic consideration - then don't accept part time students. End of story.

Posted as the latest in the ongoing neverending saga of my struggles with grad school. I am fabulously glad for this tag, because once this degree is over I'm sitting down with the department and delivering this as a report (probably without all the swearing). Their program is terrible and there is no excuse.

Now excuse me while I go do an interview and then drown my face in coffee.

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1. Never overcount the people who will show up. Inevitably people don't come and you end up with a fridge full of beer.

2. When grad schoolers aren't there, no one plays beer pong.

3. jennyclarinet is hot.

4. hilldo, I am sorry we made a "Fuck Leonardo" sign

5. safety_caesars is the Ghetto Fabulous costume queen.

6. I need to go dancing more often.

7. Giant 5' animated inflatable spiders are made of massive win

8. Humping said giant inflatable spiders: also massive win

9. The kittens like parties much more than Rydia does

10. I only have to work two days this week. Heck yeah!

RACK TAGGED ME LIKE A MOFO. Usually I ignore tags but Jana has Epic Boobs and I am totally elementally weak to Epic Boobage.



→ FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
→ SECOND: Tag eight sexy people. Don't refuse to do that like a pansy.



Open paint and draw the first animal that comes to mind with your eyes closed and without a tablet. Post and comment on this atrocity.



IT'S A BIRD BITCH


What did you last eat?
a piece of dark chocolate, my morning treat.

How fucking awesome is napping?
NAPPING IS FUCKING AWESOME until it starts to screw with your sleep schedule and you become an old fogey who can't nap anymore because she goes to bed at 10 *whistles innocently*

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
Dancing in a microbrewery packing very delicious amber ale, complete with totally sweet dance floor and possibly live music, somewhere where it is warm.

What's really SEXY?
Nice smiles, Derek Morgan (Shemar Moore), good personality, boobs of all kinds. Smiles win me though.

Name one odd item within five feet of you.
a $3000 syringe pump

What's your current fandom / obsession / addiction?
porn

What did you really want to do today that you didn't?
It's only 10:23... I still have a chance!

What are you most excited for?
THANKS-O-WEEN, right now.

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, Gmail, Facebook, Itty Bitty Kitty Committee

What was the last thing you bought?
Sweatpants for our costumes

If you could have any pet, what would it be?
50 cats. You think I am lying.

Salty or sweet?
Salty. Unless it's dark chocolate, which I choose over anything.

What do you want right this minute, off the top of your head?
Some time off of life.

Where is the place you like to return in order to calm down / relax / etc?
Bed

What's one thing that terrifies you that nobody else gets?
1. BEES
2. Creepy children's toys, like clowns and tolls and trolls and shit... only creepy

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
Have five:

1. Fuck you, and all your arrogance


2. I don't know how to talk to you any more


3. Please make out with me. I am not joking


4. I miss you.


5. [EDIT] LA LA LA.

Are there any bits of childhood that you miss?
??? I kind of like being an adult, actually.

Say something to the person who tagged you.
JANA: I CANNOT WAIT FOR OHAYOCON

Well, last night's exam actually went well. I am sure those of you who have been following this journal have been waiting for me to say those words for something like eighteen years now, after semester upon semester of "I fail!" and "School sucks!" and "Wow, Polymer Science makes me want to shoot myself in the foot and the face."

It's amazing to me how much more comfortable I am with Chemical Engineering, even going on 5 years after my undergrad degree (*waves "old" flag*), especially comparing with Polymer Science: the professors are still quirky moronic asshats, but I understand them and the assignments and the material so much better. I feel like I'm learning again; Polymer Science so far has been a few safe islands of actual learning in a sea of memorization and half-assed faking my way through exams (and angry nasty emails to professors and being blacklisted and having to fight my way tooth and claw through their part-timer prejudice). This has just been a single chem.-E class, but it's already better than the 10 PolySci classes I have under my belt.

Although - I do feel like I'm better at my job with more polymer-based knowledge, so I do not think it was a waste.

I think I'm just a natural engineer.

Either that, or one department is just nicer than the other. ;)

It throws the future into an interesting light. Do I cram next semester and actually finish all my classwork by May 2010? I don't think you guys understand how tempting that sentence really is to me. I have been at this since 2007. It would be nice to be done. And after that, what? My (future husband) boss still wants me to go for a Ph.D. I am more tempted now that I've felt the joy of homecoming in the chemical engineering department. Do I go back to Chem-E? Do I go back at all?

It has been an interesting month or so here in SevLand. I feel like – it feels like I've been treading water, running in place, fighting my ass off just to stay where I am and survive. It isn't just school, and it isn't just work – it's life: an overwhelming feeling of drudgery, of being stuck in one place, of stagnation, of is this really what I want? and is this really where I want to be?

But in the past little bit it's like something has… started isn't the right word: changed. Something's moving; the earth is shaking, the water's starting to flow. Analogies fail me, but maybe it's just a realization that things don't ever have to be any particular way; choices are everywhere. Funny how I give this advice to lots of people and yet don't realize it myself: isn't that what life is all about. Clearly I am a professional! AT MY OWN LIFE.

I wrote something a little while ago about dream-chasing, and me, and I didn't post it because it felt too much like a flagging of my own privilege: look at me, with a stable job and income and life, complaining about not having dreams of all things as if that even matters beyond some cosmic bullshittery. But I watch friends of mine talk about their dreams and goals and go after them like fucking champions, and it made me realize that right now I don't have dreams, I don't have goals, all I have is the steady even keel of a stabilized life. Except grad school, yes, but I don't even want this degree for any noble reason, I want it so that I can continue to work in research for the rest of my life, so that I can get myself up to the pay-scale and respect-level that I deserve for the job I do but am not given because of the lack of a single piece of paper; it's not really a dream anymore, not after all of the blood and sweat and tears (I have cried more over school than over anything else in my life, including men and pets) and angst and agony and asshattery. I had lots of things I wanted to do once upon a time but somewhere in the house payments and the grocery shopping and the homework they can get lost.

I'd said, I'm not sure if this is a good thing, because it means I have realized all my dreams already; or a bad thing, because my dreams were so little and pithy as to be easily attainable; or a very bad thing, because I didn't really have any dreams at all.

In conclusion:

1. Apparently one good test makes you introspective, insightful, and hella whiny/emo


2. I bit my tongue really badly on Tuesday while eating a carrot and now there is a numb nub on the tip of my tongue that tastes like mint. Did I fuck up a taste bud or something? We're talking bad, like there was blood everywhere and I had to go hide in the bathroom bad (I am such a hobo)


3. I've already skipped a day of Daily Photo. Name something I have to take a photo of as punishment!

I MADE THIS TO HELP NAY

YOU GUYS

HEY YOU GUYS

THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT:

After this semester I'll have 19 credits. After next year's lab, I'll have 22/24.

I only have one more class to take after that and I am done with courses for this degree.

If I get the research project going, I could graduate in Spring of 2011.

Holy shit.

I know I have been at this for a while, but it's almost shocking to think that the end is actually in sight.. I have hated nothing as much as I hate grad school.

Spring of 2011.

Or Summer. Whatever. What matters is this: it's so much closer than I thought.

I need to sit down.

edit: the WORST part is that if I took lab AND Technology II next semester, I could be done with classes next May.

I would hate my life, but I'd be done.

So I'm going to try starting a little project which should be simple: posting one photo per day. I've been thinking about it for a while and I am finding new motivation for photography, even the Blackberry kind.

I'll probably do it through Facebook and/or Twitter, because I can do it from my mobile that way, but since most of you have friended me in at least one of those places if not both, it should work out.

I want to see how long I can stick to it. Expect lots of photos of cats!

If there's anything you want to request - part of my life you'd like to see - let me know, and I'll make sure it gets both a photo and a link on LJ. :D

(Over/under for comments saying BOOBS PLZ: 5)


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Does anyone else really NOT enjoy typing 2010?? Scary!

Anyway:

I am now accepting applications for Powerpoint panels at the bar at Ohayocon. These will in fact be presented and discussed at the bar.

Suggested topics:
- a Flowchart depicting how to write a Mary Sue
- Bad Fanfic: a literary review
- Cloud's Sword as a Phallic Symbol

Apply now, before all spots fill up!


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